~/jlvillaraza

moved for now..

2006-01-15T23:32:00.000+08:00

who knows i'll get sentimental (or creative) in the future, i'll get back to this blogger.. as for now.. i'm migrating to aimeegirl.wordpress.com see you!

just for the sake of

2006-01-05T17:43:00.000+08:00

now i'm posting just so i have updates.. i lost my gana to do things.. i guess i'm on a ow right now... maybe it's the pressure at school, maybe it's something else.. oh well.. that's life.. living with it..

moving?

2006-01-04T00:36:00.000+08:00

yet another blogging site is threatening the existence of this one.. well not really.. the blogging sites that i'm maintaining each have their own perks.. ive been posting on friendster, and wordpress a bit more lately cause i've been online more often.. anyway, i haven't been able to post here for 2006 yet. i guess this is my first.. and no, i don't think i'm ever giving this up.. it's been with me the longest among the 4 so i guess it deserves my loyalty. :p ahk. back to reality.

holidays are almost over, hell months are almost here

2005-12-30T15:00:00.000+08:00

3 more months of college.. i'm getting cold feet on whether or not i'm going to make it. It's stressful to think about how things will turn out in the months to come.. it can go both ways.. i'm taking some real crucial subjects right now and well, i can't help but be nervous about it. 6 long years of studying (studying??) will it finally come to an end this year? despite having a few close calls, i've never really failed any subject yet in my entire college life. i really hope that this last sem wont hold my first time.. ahk. enough talk. have to start working now.

yikes.. one week nalang!

2005-12-28T10:49:00.000+08:00

one week and i'm back in manila.. cramming my brains out.. i feel the panic slowly seeping in.. there's 145, and 131 and of course.. how could i forget our thesis 199.. there's progress.. slow progress but progress still.. i hope this gets a move on.. i need a dark sky to work.. i can't seem to work in the daylight.. :( oops there's 196 pa pala! and p.i... and work..

panic.

[o] push button to destroy school

rainy day...

2005-12-23T15:17:00.000+08:00

i think i've spent the whole day in front of my computer.. well, my day did start late at 10.30.. chatted with a few people then read some of our group mail.. there was this one entry posting a blog of some person.. okay, i guess who am i to judge right? it's his personal space.. but well, i guess i pitty his way of thinking.. he sounded much like a gradeschool kid trapped in a blog hehe ranting about so and so.. yes i rant.. but i think i more often than not think about what i rant about and make sure there's a bit of logic in there.. anyway, as much as i love toying with little kids, i left my reactions within our message group only.. i'm not one for bullying children.. :p

i never thought engg week wuold have this great an impact! i need to get back to acad mode! :(

life, or something like it..

2005-12-22T01:25:00.000+08:00

i just got home from my friends house.. it's been a while since i last talked to them.. i got the latest scoop on the people from our batch.. some news happy and some news sad.. and now all of a sudden i realize that i'm 22 years old. i'm so old. i feel like my life just whizzed by me without my noticing it.. i'd love to be able to recall all the details of everything i've been through so i could take a second look at it and see what i missed back when i was young and stupid.. (as if daw o.. as if i'm not young hehe)

then again all my mistakes come to mind.. then i stop and think whether i could honestly say that i don't have any regrets.. to be honest there are a lot of things that i've done in the past that aren't really very nice.. but what's done is done.. and as cheezy as it may sound, i know i wouldn't be the person i am now if those things didn't happen to me.. so yeah, to some extent, i don't regret the things i did.

one thing i've learned, and i've always believed, is that it's always a good idea to tell the truth..

relaxing...

2005-12-21T10:37:00.000+08:00

Slept the whole day yesterday.. as soon as I arrived home, after a bit of
roaming, playing the guitar and piano, I went for bed.. the net connection
was down yesterday so I didn’t get to go online. Thank god It's back today..
had to catch up on a lot of mail. I am currently enjoying a very relaxing
foot spa here at home.. ahh this is the life.. my feet has been sore since
the indakan.. it's good to finally get to relax! ;) zzzz...

--
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Checked by AVG Free Edition.
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On the way home..

2005-12-21T07:43:00.000+08:00

It's 5:27 am and my brother and I are on our way back home to Cagayan de
Oro. The last time I was home was last year but it seems like just a few
months back. Time flies so fast. I remember last year about being excited
about being a senior and now I'm finally here. I also remember betting last
summer that 2nd sem was going to fly in a blink of an eye. Now I'm
practically halfway through the sem! When we get back from Christmas break,
it's going to be over in no time. I just hope I get done all that needs to
be done, job applications, acads and most of all, thesis. Yikes.. all of a
sudden I've lost my appetitie to write :p I didn't sleep the whole night
cause we had to leave home at 2.30 and now I'm getting a bit sleepy, I think
I'll catch some Zs for a bit..

--
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Checked by AVG Free Edition.
Version: 7.1.371 / Virus Database: 267.14.1/206 - Release Date: 16/12/2005

2005-12-03T02:19:00.000+08:00

Cant sleep.. been thinking about stuff.. so many things to do so little time.. I don’t know how to handle everything anymore..

ahk!

2005-10-29T01:20:00.000+08:00

Can you think of any other word that could describe my stress???

something i found from a few years back

2005-10-12T17:58:00.000+08:00

Don’t let me feel the comfort of your presence

Don’t look at me and smile the way you do

Don’t talk to me with that sweet voice of yours

That wouldn’t make me fall in love with you

Don’t let me feel the warmth of your embrace

Don’t hold my hand and let me feel your love

Don’t keep on showing me how much you care

That wouldn’t make me fall in love with you

Don’t let me see your interest in me

Don’t tell me how you wish that things could be

Don’t tell me that I mean a lot to you

That wouldn’t make me fall in love with you

Don’t waste your time by doing things like these

Don’t bother yourself with things that wont work

Just give up trying to make me love you

Because the fact is, I already do

2005-10-11T11:54:00.000+08:00

And how can you be honest with someone if he doesn’t even give you the chance to do so? Making assumptions about things, not even bothering to find out whether the assumptions are true. As much as you’d like him to see the light, you can’t, because he’s content with what he thinks he knows, even if it hurts him.

It makes me wonder about myself. I know I’ve been that way myself before. And up until now, I still don’t know whether the assumptions I made were true. Sometimes the thought still bothers me. When I think about them, I wonder whether I should have asked and listened to the explanation. It ruined a great thing but at that time, I was almost a hundred percent sure I was right.

I was with my second boyfriend, my high school days, insanely insecure. Though at that age I thought I knew it all and I thought I could handle everything. I remember being proud of myself because I felt I knew more than what was expected from girls my age. Now that I think about it, that was a pretty stupid assumption. Anyway, my boyfriend had this female “best friend”. And me being insanely insecure always thought there was something up with them. (I find it much easier to write about these things now that it seems like decades ago, but at that time, these were the issues that rocked my world.. as Badit would say, “haaay gogma!” hehe hi dit! :p) Well at that time, I knew that before he, um, can I call it courted?? Me, he liked this girl. We were a barkada even back then and I was there when he was making comments about how she looked like Rachel Leigh Cook (haha I remember that :p) to the times when us friends would tease him about her and all that. Of course at that time I wasn’t in love with him. I was infatuated about this other guy for well about 4 years already and we never even spoke.. oh wait, there was a time at school fair when one of my barkada just couldn’t take it anymore, she set us up at the marriage booth and we held hands for about 20 minutes while talking and as consequence, he had to carry me for 5 seconds. And even after that, we never talked (until waaay later when I finally got over the infatuation). ANYWAY, that was beside the point hehe memories are just so intertwined that when you start reminiscing about one thing others just come popping up.

Well anyway, can’t remember how it started but eventually Dave and I got together. It shocked some people, I guess they couldn’t imagine how two people from the same barkada could end up being together (I didn’t either). But things happened and I just went along with it. It was a happy relationship except for the jealous fits I used to have because he was the kind of guy who I perceived to be getting too close with his other girl friends ( there were even times when I got jealous of the other girls in the barkada haha funny! ). But I was especially jealous about this one girl, (yes, the one that looked like Rachel Leigh) because they started becoming really close. He even said he was her bestfriend and vice versa. And of course here I was, trying to act all mature about it, pretended to be okay with it, no questions asked, even if deep down inside I just wanted to scream.

One time, i remember being a nosy girl and reading the messages on his cellphone ( sorry!! Peace!! ) and one of the messages saved said “I love you” or something to that effect. I remember there was something distinct about the message that made me realize that it was not from me. For the longest time now, I’ve always had what I’d like to think of as intuition (though lately I’ve been wondering whether this is really intuition or just an over analytical imagination). With that one message, I began being on my guard about everything he did. I remember one time, the sister of his best friend (who happened to be my classmate) invited me to her home for her grad party. I didn’t know that his best friend invited him too. So I mentioned to dave that I was going. I guess he was shocked I was going too saying he didn’t know I was going to go. Then he said he’s not sure whether he was going to go anymore. That reaction led me to think soooooo many things. I remember calling over Fonzy and Karen over to my home and telling them of my suspicions. That maybe he was planning to go there all along and when he found out I was going to go he said he wouldn’t anymore, either so I wouldn’t go so he could go, or if I still would go, he won’t anymore since he wouldn’t be able to spend much time with her if I was there. I know what you’re thinking, that I was being childish. HEY I WAS 16 YEARS OLD!! Well eventually, after some rough waters, things became okay.. and then not so okay… till we eventually broke up… we ended up not talking for about a year… but eventually, we became good friends again.. time does heal ALL wounds. But after all that, we NEVER talked about the suspicions that I had. I never asked him to confirm or deny which is why till now, I still don’t know the truth. And sometimes, I wonder, if I had done it differently, If I had asked, if we had talked about it, whether things would have turned out differently. Because after that incident, I never stopped being suspicious about his actions, which probably made an impact on the relationship also since I was not able to trust him anymore. And every little issue, which probably was nothing, had a negative connotation to me. Maybe I destroyed that relationship with my “intuitions” but then again, maybe all my suspicions were true! Only Dave can answer that now :p but I guess either way it goes, i don’t have any regrets.. if I made the mistake, I learn now not to trust everything I feel and learn to ask and clarify things. but if it went the other way, I learn that people change. I know dave’s good person now and if anything, I think our friendship has just become better, although lately we haven’t been able to communicate except through ym. But I know he’ll always be there when I need him, just like the rest of my barkada. Good friends are hard to find. I’m glad I found all of mine.

Aimee Villaraza

4th Year B.S. Computer Science

University of the Philippines, Diliman

vvv

2005-10-03T09:53:00.000+08:00

Don’t you just hate it when people try to play mind games with you? And don’t you just hate it more when they think they’re actually fooling you and treat you like a total idiot? And don’t you just hate it most when they tell you with a straight face that they’re not bullshitting you and become angry because you don’t trust them? sometimes, I get really irritated because I hate absence of trust in a friendship. I find it funny that some people have to lie to their own friends. It’s just absolutely sad. Your friends are supposed to be the people in whom you have confidence not to judge you. I don’t know, maybe I just deal with my friends differently from other people. How do I deal with my friends? What are my friends like? How do I choose them? Well, usually I’m not very picky with people. I’m the type of person who can sit at a table full of mutual strangers and start a conversation.And when I start making friends, I always try to box their personality and traits in so that I know how to handle them and what type of conversation I can have with them, etc. But there are just some people who refuse to be honest with you. How can you be a good friend to someone who can’t be honest in their ways and actions with you? How?!

hmmm...

2005-09-26T18:33:00.000+08:00

Funny I almost blew my top off conversing with a friend last night. I guess that’s why communication is such a complicated thing. I guess if experience has taught me one thing, it’s that different kinds of people deal with different kinds of things differently. And it takes immense patience and willingness to understand a person and keep a conversation from becoming an argument. Most of the time, you’re tempted to just let go of control and lash out your thoughts on someone; But in the end of it all, we realize that it doesn’t do any good to the situation. There’s always a better way to make our feelings known, there’s always a kinder phrase to express certain things. The end of a conversation, or let’s be more specific, an argument, will all depend on the end goals of the people involved in the argument.

How not to get into an argument with someone? Maturity, from both sides, and communication, clear and concise.

tell me a story

2005-09-22T17:52:00.000+08:00

It’s frustrating when you know the truth and some people are just so stubborn to admit it. I’ve been in so many conflicts where I felt I know exactly what has happened and I would so love it if everybody just admitted the truth so things could get fixed. If I were ever caught in a fix, i’d choose to surrender to the truth. That way I’m sure I wouldn’t go wrong. I guess not everyone has the same ideals. It might be because they think they can fix things as long as they’re consistent with their stor.. or maybe it’s cause of pride.. a few years ago, I was in an argument with someone close to my heart. And we were talking about a certain issue and well it was clear to me at that time that he was telling me a story. Have you ever been in an argument where you know that the other person is feeding you with lies? Aside from being frustrating, it’s amusing to watch the story grow more and more with ever wrong turn his lies take him to. What’s more amazing is his ability to conjure up a final story so convincing that if that’s what he presented you at the start, you know you could have easily been fooled. Well’ I’ve met a lot of people like that. All I can say is, I’m amazed at the talents of the people who can actually do that. It makes you think about what wonders the human mind can actually achieve.

i guess it hasn't moved after all

2005-08-13T18:05:00.000+08:00

Out of all my blogs, I guess I’m most at home over here… :D so I guess I’m gonna keep feeding into this one.. so now I have to maintain 3 blogs! How fun is that.. why? I really don’t know.. I guess I’ll keep my really personal stuff here..

and others

2005-08-13T02:22:00.000+08:00

The acoustic jammin was okay.. even if I missed 2 lines of the song.. can’t really blame me, we only practiced this song this week and we didn’t have a decent source of lyrics.. Try googlin’ for the lyrics of Manila girl and you won’t find any! Okay, for the benefit of those who will be singin it in the future, I’ll post our transcribed lyrics.. :) I’’m sure there are parts that are wrong, I welcome corrections. Here is what I sang:

Flashin like lightning, I can’t believe it

My eyes won’t fail me coz I’m not loaded

Time rolled swiftly as I keep rock and rollin

I get to open my eyes on a bright modern girl

Manila girl, manila girl

No wall’s gonna block you no road is gonna stop you

Your beat is movin’ steady, I dare you follow me

I followed all rainbows it took me all directions

I found me no gold but those pearls don’t go

Wind keeps em twitchin, engines keep em rollin’

Sideways front ways, what’s your name anyway

As u can see, it doesn’t make sense… either we transcribed wrong or the song really just doesn’t make sense. :p anyway… it was a cool experience.. I felt less scared on stage this time.. still there was a tremble in my voice..

Anyway, that’s what I did last night.. this morning I woke up early and at lunch time I went to Mattie’s to have lunch with my officemates. It’s a small eating place near our office at Matalino st. UP village. I got to eat 4 and a half rice and sinigang for free! ;) the owner challenged me that if I could eat 5 rice, he’d give me a free meal.. and he was true to his word! But seriously, those living near the area should really check it out.. it’s unlimited rice, free iced tea (and occasionally juice or gulaman) and soup! All this for 40 pesos! Now that’s amazing.. we’ve been eatin there ever since one of our office mates mentioned it.. anyway.. I’m a bit sleepy so…zzzzz…

Cheese,

Aimee

It's bliss...

2005-08-12T02:42:00.000+08:00

Your touch is electric
I felt it the first time you held me
The way we connected
So easily
I've tried to define it
Searched for the perfect phrase
I've tried to describe it
In a million different ways

It's joy, it's ecstasy, it's truth it's destiny
And even love is not enough
To tell you how you make me feel
There's only one word for this

I've got to admit it
You took my heart by surprise
Don't know how you did it
But baby, I've never felt so alive
I already know what the future holds
As long as you are here with me

It's joy, it's ecstasy, it's truth, it's destiny
To tell you how you make me feel
It's faith, it's honesty, it's life, it's everything
To say I love you is not enough
To tell you how you make me feel
It's in your smile, it's in you kiss
It's the reason I exist
There's only one word for this
It's bliss

this blog has moved...

2005-08-09T13:27:00.000+08:00

You can find me at http://spaces.msn.com/members/jlvillaraza/

But perhaps I might blog here once in a while as well.. :) or I might do redundant blogging :D

Big day...

2005-07-29T09:36:00.000+08:00

This is the big day.. Make or break. We’ve got two rounds to present and we find out tomorrow whether we get into the finals or not. I’m praying hard.

Aboard Japan Airlines

2005-07-28T01:47:00.001+08:00

On the plane right now, Japan Airlines… Yesterday was quite a hectic day. We had a press conference at the Bahay ng Alumni yesterday and after that we had to prepare for our “photo shoot” for our graduation pictures. I borrowed 2 katanas for my creative shot. Didn’t turn out like I wanted it to but I guess it was alright. I also had to rush in choosing which one to put In print cause it was already 630 when we were done shooting. After that I had to go home to my aunt’s house in makati to get money for today. I got home at about 10pm and I was so tired. Took a nap and woke up early this morning at about 430 and started packing my stuff (yes I just packed this morning:p) I waited a while and then went off to U.P. where a van was to pick us up. When I got there, Sir TJ, rhea, krissy and jeric were already there. I thought we were meeting at 630. turns out we were supposed to be there at 5. we waited a bit for tweety and stan to arrive. I think we left for the airport at about a quarter to 7. We met kaye at the airport. This is my first trip outside of the country and I’m excited. It’s a place where people speak a different language and I’ll finally know how it feels like to find people around me speaking a language that I can’t understand. Although I took up Japanese classes two years ago, I kinda forgot most of the things that I learned! When we get to Narita, we’ll be traveling to Yokohama, how, I’m not sure yet. This is going to be a great experience. :D

on the way to the hotel..

2005-07-28T01:47:00.000+08:00

It’s 17:08 Japan time. We’re on the bus, no the “Friendly Airport Limousine” to Yokohama. Lot’s of interesting things to see on the way. It’s weird though, it’s like I’m seeing the mirror image of things... there’s one thing i can say though, most of the drivers here definitely have discipline.

Tick Tock Tick Tock

2005-07-19T09:38:00.000+08:00

As the date of the contest approaches, I get a bit more and more tense. Our project is slowly taking form but it still needs quite a lot of work. I know it’s ambitious but I really hope that we get a place in the world’s.

What about my day... Well, I woke up this morning after a weekend of no sleeping. That was around 9.30 and I had a class at 10. I was debating with myself whether or not to skip class then I remembered my “promise” to start being a responsible student so I dragged myself out of bed. Of course by the time I got ready and got to U.P. I was already 30 minutes late. On the way to the eng’g building, I happened by a classmate who told me we didn’t have class. So off I went to work and when I rode the jeep, rain poured like waterfalls. But by the time I got to Philcoa, it died down. So I waited for a Kalayaan jeep. Finally, I spotted one and went for the front seat, but the man in front was kind of hesitant on moving over so I went to the back instead. Somewhere along Q.C. circle a car sped by and sent water splashing over to the guy on the front seat.

I guess you could say this wasn’t NOT my day J

SIGH

2005-07-16T20:51:00.000+08:00

My nth blog for the day.. I’m having a blast at school, thesising… but if you ask me right now to explain our project in 10 minutes, I still won’t be able to do it. IMAGINE?! It’s good to be working with people with great senses of humor. At least you can really count on each other to give each other a boost. I’m happy to be on the Vulcan team and happy to have people like the DCSF faculty on our side. They’re great people, and they’re very supportive of us. I just hope we do them justice when we present our project in japan.

Ahhh finally..

2005-07-16T12:42:00.000+08:00

Simple fix, Office XP Service pack 3.

> happily blogging on Outlook XP <

I take it back

2005-07-16T12:00:00.000+08:00

It's not gmail's problem but outlook's! with outlook express i can send
but i can't receive and with outlook xp, i can receive but i can't send!
stupid huh? so here i am using thunderbird 1.0.5. I'm going to miss the
calendar function though.. i'll see if i can find out how to fix
outlook. for now, back to thesising..

IC 2005 FAST APPROACHING!

2005-07-16T10:21:00.000+08:00

I've been having problems with gmail's SMTP which is why i haven't been able to blog as often as i want. :( Japan is fast approaching.. I'm both excited and scared.. There's still so much to do and just 2 weeks to do it. I hope we wont be doing what we did during the nationals. That's why here we are again at MH 217 about to do another session of "THESIS-ING". It's morning and I'm already tired.. Here we go!

"LECHE! KNG GUSTO MONG MAGPAKAMATAY, WAG MO KAMING I DAMAY!!"

2005-07-06T11:19:00.000+08:00

i wanted to scream at this girl who sat beside the driver of the jeep i was riding as she puffed her cigarette. Perhaps if i wasn't feeling so bad with my cough and colds and all that's what i would have done.

If there's one vice i hate the most it's smoking. My friend got it right when he said that smokers are selfish killers if they smoke around other people cause they're not only killing themselves but dragging other people into their suicide as well. Heck if they wanna kill themselves while walking the city, they better bring with them a plastic bag where they can exhale and inhale all that smoke they're putting out, since they enjoy it so much. the smell of smoke gives me a headache. now i'm pissed. what a way to start the day. *cough cough*

TIME SPACE WARP NGAYON DIN!

2005-07-05T11:21:00.000+08:00

hmm.. what has happened so far.. oh, pearl has moved on to a better life, she's been swallowed by an OYSTER! i bought a 512 ram module cause it turns out OYSTER has just one slot.. :( oh well.. and i heard 1Gb is worth 18k and i don't think i'll ever be crazy enough to spend that much on ram.

22 days till japan, our project is taking form.. though it's yet a very rough form, i think it's got a lot of potential. Acad updates, well so far class has been fun, all the teachers are great.. i think once the imagine cup is over, and i concentrate more on acads, i dont think i'll have a problem with it.

my commitments are dropping like flies though.. i've been giving up some cause i'm really starting to lack time. 6 day weeks are hard to handle. I NEED A BREAK!! soon.. i'll have my break.. soon..

491 Viruses Found

2005-06-16T05:45:00.000+08:00

June 16, 2005 5:45 a.m.
Pearl: “Good Morning, Aimee”
Translation: 491 viruses found.

What a way to start the day. I fell asleep last night while running a complete test on my system. I got paranoid after the spy ware attack. I guess I was right to be paranoid though. And all these viruses were found in a ghost folder named C:\Uploads. I could swear I didn’t see any such folder while I was browsing around my file system last night. *sigh* it’s a pain to maintain windows pc’s. You get the feeling the entire world is against you!

Pearl, I have a confession to make. I’d like to say I was just a victim of another random attack but I caused all this! *whine*. I was searching on lime wire for a cracked version of super bounce out the other day. I know, stupid mistake. I was suspicious because it was a zipped file with just a setup.exe file in it. But in desperation of having something to take my mind off work, I ran it, nothing happened. I had a feeling there was something wrong, but I shrugged it off. Lesson 1: Stop Piracy :p, Lesson 2: learn to trust your instincts! If it looks wrong, don’t take the risk! I can’t believe how stupid I got. Don’t you worry pearl, I’ll be more careful with my pirating next time :p

Pearl Wars etc

2005-06-16T00:03:00.000+08:00

I updated my resume! I actually just got home from work. It’s June 16, 2005, 11:43 pm pearl time. I blog through outlook which is why of all the blog service providers that I’ve subscribed to, blogger was the only one that offered posting via email (or maybe blogger was the only one who made the feature easy to find?) As I am not always online since I don’t have the net on my fingertips, I use outlook. YES I USE WINDOWS! At least it’s a licensed version! It’s available for UP students enrolled in Com Sci so what the heck right? I’ve long wanted to migrate but the Imagine Cup project has me hooked on Windows. Personally, I’m not anti-anything. I welcome any software that works and anything that doesn’t give me a headache. Speaking of headaches, I almost had a major heart attack this afternoon. Flashback

I was booting up pearl when I noticed a strange and unfamiliar icon on my status bar, one that had no exit option on right click except stuff about 180searchblahblah (blahblahs mine). All of a sudden spy ware alerts from Microsoft AntiSpyware came popping up repeatedly and when I scanned my system I got 17 infected files! Quarantine or remove? Who the heck chooses quarantine? Perhaps those people who’d like to study these so called malware. After a thorough scan I rebooted pearl. Ahk! The weird icon was still there! So I ran msconfig and there I found several weird looking programs set to autostart. I found stuff like hkcmd.exe which, after searching, was a program bundled with intel stuff, I was kind of in a panicky mode so I wasn’t able to read well what it was supposed to do. I just read that it wasn’t a threat and moved on. Same with igfxtray.exe. There were these weird entries though, fejgl.exe and of course the 180searchblahblah.exe (blahblahs mine). So I unchecked the both of them and restarted my pc. After doing so, I ran the Microsoft AntiSpyware full scan again and it detected 2 more infected files. Removed. Reboot. No more weirdo processes running! But when I looked at my msconfig, the entries for that fejgl.exe and 180blahblah (blahblahs mine) were still there. I downloaded this tool called MSConfig Cleanup which amazingly cleans up your msconfig. I used that tool to delete the entries and poof they were gone. I took an online virus scan, TrendMicro’s House Call. It’s a java-based online virus scanner. But before TrendMicro got a chance to detect it, my local virus scanner AVG detected it. There were about 3 and one of them, I bet was the culprit for all that spy ware popping up. It was the Super Bounce Out I downloaded through limewire :p

okay.. So these are one of the things that annoy me about pirated software. You don’t really have someone’s neck available for squeezing every time your software threatens to kill your system. Them darn malware were detected before they made a drastic spread. I’ll be leaving pearl on for a thorough scan. I’m not quite comfortable yet.

I mentioned that my net access is limited, well, limited to the following:
• Dial-up at home which I rarely have access to, I live in a boarding house where lots of people share one phone line
• LAN access
o CS Department, LAN access via Jael’s utp.
o Tech Factors Office, but this is work so… :p
• Dilnet Wifi accessed from:
o Engg Library (no I don’t pay 20 bucks/hr, I make sure pearl is fully charged before going there)
o DEEE 2nd floor lobby, Indian-sitting by the wall. Wait, that was when I had classes there (but all of a sudden, without warning, IT WAS DISSOLVED, on the LAST DAY of admat period)
o Engg 2nd floor lobby, Indian-sitting against one of the big columns outside the lib (these are the times out of library hours)
• Free Public WiFi @ Robinson’s Galleria, East Wing (Figaro, Bo’s Coffee, etc.) Free WiFi! But this was during the summer when I had work there.
• Pay Public WiFi @ Seattle’s Best via Airborne access, price is steep @ 100/hr but I guess that will have to do in cases of emergencies

おやすみなさい！

reFreshing

2005-06-15T20:20:00.000+08:00

This day was great. UP Cursor and the other organizations in the CS Network of UP Diliman held a one-day orientation session for the freshies to prepare them for what lies ahead. My role as one of the tutors for Computorient was to give the “kids” a taste of programming in a linux environment, using the VI text editor and compiling using gcc which by the way means “GNU Compiler Collection”. Yes, it was the undying “hello world” program again. I didn’t want to break tradition. I must say, that was the first c program I ever wrote and the first source code that I fully understood, back in my c-programming-introduction days about 5 years ago when I started out with Computer Science at Xavier University, Ateneo de Cagayan. I must admit seeing them this afternoon made me reminisce about the good old days when I was an eager freshman. Then something went seriously wrong, I LOST THE PASSION! I guess I got distracted by a lot of things, things that I can’t really pinpoint right now (or should I say refuse to ;p) But anyway, I hope these freshies get started on the right foot and I hope they have a long and happy CS life ahead of them (and hopefully the long life will not be exclusively spent in UP *toothy grin*)

Imagine?!

2005-06-14T09:45:00.000+08:00

Wow, what a week. We finally finished with imagine cup. Three days of programming and I felt my brain kinda fried out. We finished last although our project did catch attention. Too bad we weren’t able to spice up the marketing side of our presentation. I think we could have done better, except on the day of the presentation, we were all too drained to come up with a good presentation. Thank God Tweety came up with that last minute tag-line. It really did save our presentation. Although we didn’t win, we got a few job offers and some to fund the development of our application. Which I guess would be a good sign that our project was not a nonsense one. Team Vulcan is going to Japan and we’re accompanying them as alternates. I’m excited about it even if it doesn’t show. This will be the first time I go out of the country. Woohoo! J I’m excited really, what’s making me sound so glum? It’s the work that we all have to get into in the coming month, before the contest. We have to start beefing up our project. WE GOTTA WIN THE WORLDS!!! Ambition never hurt anyone right? J

IMAGINING the CUP

2005-06-08T00:21:00.000+08:00

Major cramming. Head hurts. Stomach hurts. Back hurts. Speaking of, better get back to work

Dating Myself

2005-06-04T10:48:00.000+08:00

I never thought dating myself could feel great! It’s been a long time since I really treated myself out and spent time out alone. I started with a movie this afternoon and I decided to go all out and go on a movie binge! So here I am, still at gateway. The movie was great! I heard some bad feedback about it but i’m glad I went on and saw it for myself. It was definitely a different kind of movie. The way the story was laid out and the way the entire movie was shot was definitely different. Well, it was something similar to cool world but not cartoonie at all. Anyway, whatever anyone says, I think the movie was great!

After the movie, I planned to get myself some coffee at Starbuck’s but when I went out, I overheard a jazz band playing at Café Adriatico and when I saw the drummer, I thought I saw my Art Studies instructor, Sir Jerry Valenciano. I remember him telling me he played in a jazz band when he saw my drum sticks sticking out of my bag one time. I took a closer look and when I saw his tattooed arms, I knew it was him. I decided to go ahead and treat myself some more so here I am, enjoying the music, the blueberry cheesecake and a cappuccino at Café Adriatico.

Cheers!

Doing too Much

2005-05-24T20:33:00.000+08:00

The summer is almost over... I have to say that i definitely took on more than i could handle... Right now i can't bring myself to talk about all of them but i will, when my head doesn't hurt.

DVORAK TYPING

2005-04-20T11:50:00.000+08:00

Its been almost a month since I’ve started really working on my dvorak typing. Having pearl has really helped me get better practice. Just signed up for an account at www.learn2type.com. Took the test and currently at 36 wpm.. working to improve on it.. the best grades that I got on a qwerty ranged from 65 to 70. I wanna see if its true that you can improve your speed with a dvorak keyboard layout

one helluva summer

2005-04-19T16:11:00.000+08:00

Something tells me I took on more than I can handle… but I can do this. I just have to keep focused and know which things to prioritize… I just got to get the hang of this busy life soon… before I go nuts! Nothing much to say right no although so much has happened. Been working my “popo” off since the start of summer… Senior Camp was definitely the best break I had… though I wish I could take yet another vacation before the summer ends… *sigh*

Horse Voice

2005-04-08T11:10:00.000+08:00

Teaching is a hard job.. especially if you have to speak the whole day! I’ve been tasked to teach computer basics and basic programming for Systema this week and its been pretty hard… And I thought the hard part was going to be studying for this. And now I realize that maintaining my voice is a lot harder.. and I usually am tired at the end of the day from the work… I was supposed to take a break from all of this starting this week but all of a sudden they were looking for a teacher for three non-cs students and I guess I was all they could get at such short notice. Its tiring, I swear I don’t have my voice anymore.. I lost it yesterday, I think I know now why they call it having a “hoarse voice”… but I think originally it was spelled horse… i can’t wait till Friday afternoon.. argh! I wish this would all be over now..

Oh Whatta Summer!

2005-04-04T18:02:00.000+08:00

So many things to do… I have GOT to start learning how to say no… oh well, I’ll just try my best to get through this and pray that the load gets lighter.. tired, sleepy and my throat hurts… ;(

the setup

2005-01-20T17:32:00.000+08:00

17 days and work is great... there's been some really great turn outs but i won't write about it till i'm sure. as for acads, i can't say i'm having a blast. IT'S HELL WEEK AT SCHOOL! it's raining exams, whoopeedoo..

my most recent obsession is dvorak. i started a few days ago when i had nothing to do. i was surfing the net when i came across this article on dvorak saying that you can drastically improve your typing speed if you typed on a keyboard on dvorak layout. so i tried it out. it was pretty difficult adjusting. later in the night, i went home to my beat up old ibm and reset the keyboard layout. (it's in the keyboard settings of your control panel on windows). when i set it up, i typed up the layout on a little notepad window while typing "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" on another, while talking to my boyfriend on the phone. he then gave me the brightest idea (or so i thought). he told me to reset the keyboard layout. physically. so there i was, prying out the little keys, beating up my already beaten up laptop (yes i'm accepting donors for a new one ^_^) and once i was almost halfway, i realized the problem. my laptop had a nipple right in the middle so the keys g, h and b had grooves in the corners it. so i left it in its place. so that kinda left me with 6 letters out of place. when i started typing again, i got confused by some of the letters so i took a marker and blacked the letters out. ^_^ then i realized i'm not used to typing while looking at the keyboard so i kept my eyes on the screen. then i realized my next problem which was not having the little grooves on the home keys! of course i was too tired to take my keyboard apart all over again so i went to bed. everyday i'm improving a lot though. i'll update you on my dvorak escapades next time.

2005-01-12T16:14:00.000+08:00

it's been a week and a half for me here at systema. so far work is alright.. finally got a part time job related to my field! nothing much to do yet so i thought i'd drop a message. ciao!

talk about hectic

2004-12-10T11:34:00.000+08:00

Things to do:

cs 192 assignment: 13.12.2004
cs165 ERD and system analysis: 15.12.2004
modules for webteam project
modules for 165 project
follow up papers for salary (yey!)
study framework for new part time job

Things to do over the break:

catch up on 133
catch up on eee9
advance reading on cs 192
advance reading on cs 165
study framework for new part time job
modules for 165 project
relax.

Imagine a world where technology dissolves the boundaries between us

2004-11-20T10:01:00.000+08:00

Ambitious? yes i think so too.. but again, our school has a knack for last minute contest entries. a prototype and program description is due in december and guess what, no idea whatsoever on .Net technology. a book is too expensive so i'm currently trying to search for an online tutorial or downloadable ebook. been racking my brain for an idea but none is coming yet. i'll try to think more later. right now i'm reading a manual on how to tune a drum set ^_^.

changes

2004-11-19T16:58:00.000+08:00

i just realized that i hate it when things upset my schedule. i ABSOLUTELY hate it. don't YOU just hate it when all of a sudden things cancel and things come up? i mean, you set your mind to do a few things, you make plans and all of a sudden *poof* there goes all your planning and your hope to get your life more organized 'cause you find out that people and stuff suddenly changed plans.

i'm especially irritated more than grateful when one minute i feel like i don't have enough time on my hands and then the next minute you don't have a single thing to do anymore! i have too little to do the rest of my upcoming tasks and i'm not in the right place to do it! *grrr*

2004-11-17T09:18:00.001+08:00

One word to describe my last semester: FAILURE. I've never had lower grades than last sem's. Though i would say, i deserve it since most of the sem i didn't go to class on some subjects. I should be rejoicing that i even passed the subjectS! note: SUBJECTSSSSS.

I guess i had too many commitments on my part. I was juggling so many things at the same time that even if i had the best time management system in the world i wouldn' t be able to do everything i'm supposed to do.

This sem, i'm starting over. I guess my best achievement so far is getting up at 530 in the morning. That's a big difference from the time i used to wake up. (it used to be around 1030 to 1130 in the morning :D) I set my classes to to all start in the morning so i have more time in the afternoon to do my extra curricular activities. i hope my plan works.

anyway, i have one more sem to go and it's going to be thesis time. i'm thinking of doing my thesis individually, as i have a hard time working with other people. i know that's a bad thing but i'd really much rather work alone since i have so many things to do, aside from work here at school, i've also got a lot of responsibility at my church. my time is really unpredictable so i think it would be best. am i being defensive?

anyway today we have a meeting with the Engg Webteam. We have to make our plans for the team. We have so many projects due in so little time!! it seems that i'm not the only one having issues with time management ^_^.

i also applied with a company just outside of UP as a part time programmer. i sent in my resume yesterday but i haven't gotten a reply yet. i hope it turns out alright. i know, i know. i'm taking in more than i can handle again. but i'm also in a really big financial rut that's why i need the work!

what else can i say about myself.. hmmm.. i can't think of any more yet. I'll get back to you when i get something new.

flop

2004-10-13T13:56:00.000+08:00

so much for new life.. it's the end of the sem and it's one big flop. that's all i have to say for now. i need to change. i really need to change.

whoa cool!

2004-09-22T05:19:00.000+08:00

im blogging thru my fon! Hehe im just beside my pc though.. Im using a bluetooth connection t0 my deskt0p t0 acces the net.. Hehe this is fun, at least iv learned something today.. Ü now im hungry, was up all night doing projects.. Im.. Zzz..

sigh

2004-09-22T02:53:00.000+08:00

Still no progress on the changing my life thing.. this is so sad.. I'm staying at the lab to supposedly have some things done but unfortunately i was able to do just a little of this and a little of that. this is sad.. really sad.. i don't know how i'm going to improve.. i just hope next sem i don't end up like this again.. :( i need change.. i need real change.

SUBMITTED!

2004-09-17T23:35:00.000+08:00

talk about beating the deadline!! haha just submitted my machine project.. deadline is still later at 1:00 am so i guess i didn't do that bad :p i know, i'm still cramming. im still working on the improvements.. not only that, i've got my financial dilemmas to think about as well.. i just got home from a bible study and the message was strengthening your grip on money (or rather the not of that) it was a good message. it really did slap me in the head about the reality of how the love for money could control your life and distract you from the very important parts of life, like our faith.

i better try to improve myself, this time, whole-ly. I'll start today, by praying before i go to bed.

out of sync

2004-09-16T07:08:00.000+08:00

still no progress i think.. it's been a lazy week for me.. i don't know if this change thing will actually work.. deep down inside i feel like the effort is futile since it's almost the end of the semester anyway... i know, pathetic.. *sigh*

i've got a new project, still studying it though. it's related to a course that i'm not taking and absolutely have no interest in. but it's gonna bring in some income so i have to try. I have an exam this afternoon though so i have to prioritize that first. and then we've got a deadline for the webteam next week! 4 sites i think.. :( this is sad.. i'll be stressed by the end of the sem. anyway.. better get back to studying..

ranting and hopes

2004-09-14T09:27:00.000+08:00

I started on my machine project, that's an achievement, although it's not finished yet.. but it i got to say, it's just been one failure after another, yesterday, i didn't go to my first class again because i got lazy.. but congratulate me. my second class, which was a major subject, starts at 1. i left the house at 1:15 and the only things we do in class is have a quiz at the start of the class and just discuss (read the book aloud). our prof is a bit bookish.. wait, a bit i an understatement. anyway, i was debating on whether to go to class or skip it since i already probably missed the quiz. but then, i still went! and guess what the prof wasn't there yet! and by the time he arrived, we had too little time to have a quiz. :D so happy me. another failure, i skipped the class after that. i don't know, i just don't feel that i could learn something worthwhile from that class. it was just going to be a reporting on some language. call me bad but honestly, i really don't think i can learn anything.

today, i'm meeting someone regarding a project. here's my chance to get some money by doing something i love! :) i hope it turns out okay. anyway, i've still got so much to do.. we're the praise and worship team for this sunday so we have practice this evening..

Our praise and worship team is another issue for me since i'm the coordinator, i'm basically in charge. but it's so hard to implement things without everyone's cooperation and especially without unity. i'm still looking for a way to get everyone united. i think that's the only time we could really get things moving in the team. my term is almost over but there's still so much i want to do..

failure

2004-09-11T11:48:00.000+08:00

I failed today. I was supposed to go to the rehearsal for "A star is born" a production for kids at church but I got lazy. It's just that the past few days of exams after another has really stressed me out. it's the first time in days that i'm able to sleep soundly. But lately, maybe cause i got used to sleeping late (that is if i get any sleep at all) i can't seem to sleep at night. take last night. by 9 i was in bed but i didn't doze off till 12 plus. i hope this doesn't stay this way.

anyway today, i'm downloading the specifications for our second machine project in cs 135. and instead of cramming like i usually do, i'm going to finish it if not today, this weekend. i hope i don't screw this one up.

My first day

2004-09-10T16:20:00.000+08:00

The first day was ok.. I didn't get to do much though. It seems that all of a sudden, i've got nothing to do. But i'm sure things are going to get a lot busier next week. The projects with the webteam is piling up.. i hope we can all handle it. so much needs to be learned. what do i have planned for tomorrow? i'm helping out with a kids production for church. it's a musical to be shown on december. The kids are really working hard for it.. although sometimes they get a bit rowdy but they're fun to hang around with. it's fun watching kids enjoy themselves. they remind me of those days when i didn't have deadlines to meet. i guess although the job as their dance master / stage manager is a bit hectic, i guess i'm grateful too cause i get to break away from my usual routine of work and study. Tomorrow afternoon, i'm going to have a meeting with people from other churches connected to ours for a praise concert in october. hope that goes well.. thank goodness i've got friends who help out with the planning.. it's fun to get involved :) i hope everything goes well..

The start of a new blog.. and a new life

2004-09-10T10:31:00.000+08:00

I'm changing my life starting today. I created this blog to track my progress. I've been postponing my better life for so many months now. I want it now. I think putting things in writing would help me change since if i write things down and post them, i'll be forced to live up to what i say. My first commitment, is to write in this blog everyday if possible. If i miss a day, it should be at most a one day interval only, unless in the cases of emergency like, city-wide black outs for days. I'll start simple.. i don't want to make promises i cant keep. :)